Watery Memories
by Saberpilot
Summary: A one-shot about a Bebop crew member thinking about her existence and what to do with what she remembers. Please readreview.


Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop. At all. This is a one-shot that I was inspired to write after watching Knocking on Heaven's door. Enjoy, and please R&R.  
  
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Somewhere, she lay. She didn't know exactly where, or when. It didn't even really matter where she was at the moment- they'd find her when they needed her, like they always did.  
  
Looking up, she found her body calming down along with the tranquil settings up in the stars. Nothingness. Nothing but stars and cosmos that sailed the universe in search of... emptiness.   
  
Breathing in and out, she wished that she could be among them, be among the nothingness that made them so peaceful and calm. Forget- forget the origins of herself, just as the stars seemed to, twinkling back at her with their gold and silver lights.   
  
A wind blew past her, and her hair rustled, bringing her back to the stone cold ground that she laid on. She turned her head slightly to see the rust colored earth that she laid upon. With the greatest effort, she reached out and grasped at the dirt, letting it fall between her fingers.  
  
Stars. The earth was made of stars, each speck of dust sparkling as it made its journey back to the surface from whence it had come.  
  
Looking back up at the sky, she pondered her own self within the nothingess of space. Memories... memories so pointless because they were so watery in their substinance- just like the earth that had been in her hands, they came and went, returning back to the subconcious of her mind.  
  
All she knew was the life she lived now. A life of chance, a roulette of life and death that forced adrenaline into her system, reminding herself that she was alive, that this wasn't a dream. It was the only way she could rid herself of those watery memories and forget them- to thrill to the speed of chance and a heart's momentary stop as one intook that gasp of hoping breath.  
  
She'd lost today. None of the horses had even come in, leaving her own funds sadly lower than they'd been the day before.   
  
Why did she even do this? Why did she even go on living?  
  
Looking at the stars, the water memories surfaced for air once more, their puzzles hardening like ice. Sitting up, she intook a deep breath.   
  
That had been close. If she allowed those memories to re-emerge... it would change the life that she currently lived, and loved. And hated.  
  
Biting her lip, she closed her eyes, trying to retrace the line that had made the memory re-emerge in the first place. The channel was dim, but she latched onto it, its blaze the same as those shooting stars in the distance.  
  
A... a schoolyard, with children. Others, smiling, and laughing. A hand held out to her in welcome, asking her to come and join in the innocent play. She placed a hand to her chin, only to realize that there was wetness creeping down her face.  
  
She was... crying? Why was she crying, when in the memory she was so happy?  
  
She opened her eyes, and laid back once more, looking towards the stars. They had it so easy- all they had to do was exist, nothing more. They didn't have to remember- all they had to do was simply be. No, no such luck for herself.  
  
She had to fight the demons within.  
  
"Are you going to lay there all night?" a masculine voice probed, its inflection light-hearted.  
  
"Just give me one more minute."  
  
"What, are we pondering the meaning of life or something?"  
  
"...just let me sit here."  
  
"Suit yourself. Jet says we're heading space-side in twenty. Be ready."  
  
"Right," she said, sitting up. She looked beside her to see her favorite shawl laid beside her. She hadn't... she hadn't laid it there. He must have brought it.  
  
Of course, he'd had to be the one to bring it. Understanding jerk.  
  
Pulling it close to her person, the woman looked up at the stars once more, standing up as she did. Shivering, she took one last hard look.  
  
It came to her that perhaps it was better to be human than a star. Memories... or no memories, she was still herself.   
  
She was still Faye Valentine.   
  
Smiling, the bounty huntress looked down from the sky and headed inside. Another space trip, another bounty. More adrenaline.  
  
She could live with that for now.  
  
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End file.
